Saturday, April 21, 2012

Hello Mommy's handsome boy, I know it has been a while since I have written you, I have been keeping myself pretty busy. I started school this week and that helps to keep my mind occupied, but you are in my thoughts at every moment of every day. I still miss you so much, Kyler. I can't believe you have been gone for almost 6 months. It still seems like just yesterday I kissed your tiny nose and told you I loved you for the last time. I never thought I would be here, 6 months later. At 6 months you would be learning to roll over, you would be smiling, eating baby food instead of formula and I would have so enjoyed watching you grow & develop. I'm sure God knows how to raise you perfectly, so I will let him take care of you until I can do it again. Most days I just want to sleep & dream of you. I NEED to dream of you, I need to know that you are okay. I have never missed anyone so much, and the pain of missing you is far more intense than I had ever imagined. Life is very difficult without you and I am still counting down the days until I can kiss that perfect little nose again. I can't wait to look into your eyes and know that you can see me! I have been thinking an awful lot about our family and how badly I wanted you. I would have given anything to keep you. When the time is right, your daddy and I are going to try for another baby, your brother or sister. Please understand that no matter how many living children we go on to have, you will always be just as special and important to us as they are. You will always be included in our count of children and your siblings will know and love you just as if you were here with us. Kyler, please help us know when it is the 'right time' and please prepare a special baby to join our family. There are a couple new angels with you now, one of them you will know very well. Please keep them company until their Mommy's and Daddy's can hold them again. Kyler, know that we love you and long to be with you and know that no matter where our futures take us, you will always be our little boy. Give little Paxton a hug and let him know that his Mommy loves him and misses him so very much. I can't wait to see you. I love you. xoxoxo Mommy

1 comment:

  1. Hello grandmas little boy. Today is my birthday oh how I wish you were here to spend it with me. Time goes by so fast and it won't be long before we can see you. I wish I would've been able to see you and hold you in person little Kyler but I know someday I will. I love you Kyler. Always grandmas little angel baby. Visit us often I think about you and your mom and dad everyday.