Today is 3 months since I held you for the first, and last time. 3 months since I gave you away, never to see you again in this lifetime. I miss you so much, Kyler. Time seems to be dragging on so slowly. I pray to God every night to watch over you. I hope you have found some friends up there, I'm sure your great-grandfather was so happy to see you. In 9 days, I will be faced with the date that you were supposed to come, the date I anxiously awaited for 25 weeks. I can't believe you won't be coming home on that day. I want to hold you again so badly, a lifetime is such a long time to wait. But one day, I WILL hold you again. I am constantly thinking about you, wondering how different my life would be if you were still here. Mommy's tummy would be so huge right now, and I'd be getting everything ready for your arrival. Please keep watching down on me and your daddy. Send him lots of love while he is away from me, he needs to feel you.
I still remember the day I found out you were coming to our family. I had never experienced joy like that before. I wanted you SO badly and I promise I did everything I could have to keep you safe. I know you're happy where you are, and for that, I will try to be happy too. I hope you have met up with your siblings, let them know that we are so excited to meet them. You will always be my special boy. My Angel baby. I pray that someone special is tucking you in every night. Oh, I wish I was doing just that right now.
Sending big hugs, kisses and mommy love up to Heaven. I love you and miss you so much! I can't wait to see you again...
Mommy
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